Pai's Melancholy
by Seera'sTopHat
Summary: An insight to the darker one of the aliens, Pai. What does he really think?


**Ichigo: Mew Bubblegum does not own Tokyo Mew Mew and would like to thank Mia Ikumi for creating this awesomeness. If she did, then poor Pai wouldn't have to go through this.**

**Mew Bubblegum: Too right!**

_**Pai's Melancholy**_

Pai leaned back against the grey and cracking wall. His arms were firmly folded over his chest and his right foot crossed over his left ankle. He thudded his head on the wall, trying to make sense of these strange feelings inside him. What was it? He had a urged feeling to pullverise one person in particular. Why was he jealous? Pai closed his eyes, his face remained blank. His mind faded to nothing, he couldn't focus on any plans or his evil ways or trying to help his people. He couldn't picture anything, a part from a young, happy, green haired girl. He had taken all there was to know about her. The way her hair fell when she turned around and how pretty her smile was. Her determined look struck him too. The girl holding up her weapons and shouting pointful things, that he made much sense to. Pai shook his furiously and mentally slapped himself. He would _not_ reduce himself to Kisshu's level. Still, Pai couldn't ignore the constant pounding in his chest, everytime her thought about her, his heart would skip a beat. It was like his heart was going to take off and leave him behind, for dead. Pai gave a sideways glance out of the alleyway, where he found it quiet and peaceful. Away from all the noise and the complaining. Where Deep Blue couldn't catch him. Pai sighed, irritantly and rubbed his temples. He needed to think straight. He had to do something to put his mind at rest. Start a pointless fight with the Mew Mews? No, he always had a point and also, he would have to face _her_. He could try and research for more Mew Aqua, but that was also a lost cause. He had set up an automatic searcher for Mew Aqua, in case they weren't there when a reaction took place. The true fact was there was nothing that needed to be done at this point. Pai looked up to deep, darkened sky. It was the only beautiful sight that this horrid planet had to offer, a part from that girl. A few little shimmering dots were placed around the sky, clouds covering some. The sparkling stars reflected in Pai's indigo eyes. He longed for something so beautiful, he wanted his people to all be happy once again. Why couldn't _she_ see that? The point was, she could see it but yet refused to believe it. It was like the sky spoke, personally to Pai. Right now, it was the only thing that made sense to him.

"She understands. Of anyone, she is the one who understands," Pai whispered to the mysterious sky.

The memory of Lettuce kissing Shirogane flashed through his mind, like a stake through the heart. Pai clenched his fists. He felt so angry. _Why does she choose him? Easy, I am her enemy. I am not a realiable choice, even if her heart does feel something for me! I do not have a concience, I will not surrender to that annoying little voice! _Pai narrowed his eyes into an evil looking frown. He summoned his fan to his hand and shouted out his magical words to make the electric blast shoot out of it. The wall in front of him crumbled slightly, but it made Pai feel a whole lot better. He never lost his temper so easily, unless Kisshu or Taruto really pushed him off the edge, but this was different. His heart was like a bomb on a timer, waiting to go off whenever he saw what his heart craved. _What is this feeling, making me hurt so much?_ Pai roared in his mind, clutching the sides of his head, possibly trying to squeeze the answer out.

_It's love!_ Sqeeled a little voice in the back of his mind, almost sounding like the blonde haired human who he loathed.

_You dont' loath him, you envy him..._ The small voice sniggered.

_I do not envy him!_ Pai yelled in his head, having a mental battle with this pressuring voice. He slid down the wall to sit down on the cold ground. The cars whizzing by and the horns of the night, began to ring in Pai's ears. He would do anything to block out that pestering voice. Pai relaxed himself and placed his hands down at either side of his body. He closed his eyes and just imagined what life would be like if she had chosen him, instead of that blondie. If they lived in peace together. Pai chuckled softly, which was a rare occurance for him. Suddenly, he flapped his eyes open and frowned again.

"I have a mission to fullfil, I will not think of such foolishness!" Pai cursed himself, "I won't think of such stupidness."

He turned his left hand into a fist and bashed it against the floor. Something, something had to be down to heal this feeling deep within him. Everytime he met with the Porpoise Mew, everytime he fought her, something inside him wanted to just reach out and gather her up in his arms. He wanted to kiss her so passionatly, he wanted to hold her so close, it would diminish his feelings of loneliness. His harsh feeling of depression that had held him away from people throughout his life could be lifted by her. Pai made a plan, once Deep Blue had claimed the planet, he would have him spare Lettuce, since Pai's loyalty had been true to his heart. Unlike Kisshu who had to follow his plans and Taruto who sometimes objected to things. Pai didn't complain at all, he just did what he was told as the demon of sadness wouldn't let him deviate from his mission of restoring Earth. Pai's indigo hair fluttered in the new breeze that drifted past him. It was refreshing to his face and made him show just a small glimmer of a smile. Pai raised himself up from the ground. He floated up to the roof of the building he had been leaning against. From there, he could see accross Tokyo. It would be hard to spot Lettuce threw the crowds of people, plus Pai knew all too well that the green one wouldn't be out so late at night.

_Go see her. Take her from that rude and immature boss of hers!_ The voice at the back of his head piped up again, causing Pai some distress.

He grunted and folded his arms over his chest. Pai refused to listen to such a pathetic voice. He rolled his eyes and set his gaze on the park where Cafe Mew Mew lay. Pai felt a sudden urge to go there, as if something were calling out to him. Something calling for a saviour. Pai shook his head furiously and tried to ignore the oddness of his feelings. He placed his right hand over his heart, while his left hand grasped onto right side. The hustle and bustle of the city began to fade away and all he could hear was Lettuce's voice, ringing in his ears.

_It's tempting, isn't it? You want to go, she won't refuse you. _

Pai's stomach twisted, making him wince in pain.

"I-it's like being s-stabbed, repeatedly..." Pai whispered, remorsefully.

He looked down at his feet and the plainness of the ground. Why couldn't things be as simple as that? Pai grunted as another pang in his stomach grew. It felt so bad that he started to feel guilty to the pain he had caused the other people. How he shoved people away and let anyone know a single thing he was feeling. No wonder he was on his own. Maybe, just maybe, if he'd been different, he wouldn't be the one who had to kill all these humans, gathered on this planet. _No! What are you thinking! This is your mission and you will carry out until the day you die!_ Pai mentally slapped himself and fell down to his knees. He moved his hands to the ground and leaned forward on them.

_She's tormenting you... Let her comfort you, she won't mind. She isn't like the others, she's gracing and she feels there is no need to fight._

Pai raised his head, his deep purple eyes greeted by a green beauty. His lips parted in his astonishment. The green mew smiled down at him, her body glimmering in a green haze.

"Pai-san," she smiled, her light and tender voice echoing in the air.

"L-Lettuce..." Pai whispered, letting a stray tear slip from his eye.

His hands turned to fist and his whole body shook. Pai lowered his head for a moment, then released the tension within him. He looked up again, but no one was there. He stared at the spot where he had seen Lettuce.

"Just a dream..." Pai whispered, before his whole body collapsed down to the ground.

Pai clung onto his stomach. He wouldn't let anyone break him, he would lock his heart away and make sure no one had any access to it. It was for no one to touch, to hold, to love. He would remain like a piece of ice that not hammer could shatter, but only to be chipped away, piece by piece. In the heat of the sun, he wouldn't melt. In the cold, he would not frost over even more. He would only let that one person scratch away at the ice, her claws begging to let her in. Her crying voice, hoarse and paniced.

"That's the way I want it and that's the way it will be," Pai whispered into the dusk.

He gave off a small chuckled and closed his eyes, a smile rising at the corners of his mouth.

**Kisshu: *sniffles* That is so sad **

**Mew Bubblegum: I know, the fact that he loves her, but he'll cut off his heart to anyone, that's true love. *Shivers***

**Kisshu: Aw, are you upset?**

**Mew Bubblegum: *Rubs eyes* Nope! **

**Anyway, I'm doing a collection of oneshots for all the main characters. Yes, this does include Masaya. Not that I'm all too happy about it, but then that just wouldn't be fair.**

**Kisshu: Meh...**

**Taruto: Review it or lose it, I want my story next!**

**Click the button, or Taruto will hate you**

**V**


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